A few things I’ve learned while stuck in bed.

1. The worst commercials are played between the hours of ten a.m. and four p.m. And then again between twelve and four a.m.

2. You’ll watch three hours of I Love Lucy before finally gathering the energy to lift the remote and turn down the volume… just so you can roll over and go to sleep. Again.

3. I love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Cinnamon Toast Crunch is nauseatingly sweet when you’re sick. But it was either that or another slice of bread.

4. Plain white bread is delicious and requires absolutely no energy whatsoever.

5. Yes, I eat white bread. Oh, the humanity!

6. Being sick and unable to sleep will make you want to punch someone, preferably the person snoring next to you, in the face.

7. Cats don’t understand that they’re not helping the situation by pressing their overly warm bodies against yours while you’re in the midst of an angry fever.

8. I hate NyQuil. “The only thing NyQuil has ever cured is consciousness.” (Name that TV show.)

9. Phlegm… the kind that gets stuck in your throat and makes you cough and choke and gag until tears are streaming from your eyes and snot from your nose… is a product of the devil.

10. Crying doesn’t help when your sick and frustrated. In fact, it just makes your head ache even worse.

11. Susan Elizabeth Phillips is an amazing romantic author. A fact I had forgotten until I discovered I had enough energy to flip the pages of a book.

12. I love chap stick even more now that my lips are severely dry and chapped from only being able to breath through my mouth.

13. Getting into a fight with your husband right before falling ill is really bad timing.

14. If the chest pain is any indication, I fear I may have pneumonia. Ugh.

But enough about me. How do you handle being ill?

Me? I burrow under the covers and refuse to wash my hair.

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